the year almost...

it's almost been a year since my last post (again). Much has since changed. For one, i'm now married to my sweetheart Clydia. its been a great year looking back. seeing the Lord work in me a process of healing, a process of building.

my heart seems to have been enriched by the lessons from the past year. lessons of surrender, not of an unwilling heart but one that's yearning to surrender. i'm in a better position now because of those very lessons taught under the grace and mercy of our Lord Jesus.

i was reading a book reccently by wayne cordeiro called "leading on empty", it's a great book by the way, and it basically talks about the journey wayne undertook from being in ministry to being burned out to finding that joy and purpose and satisfaction in serving once again. its funny how sometimes a book becomes a mirror, reflecting the light once again back into your life.

but through the book i've been taught once again the need to reorder my life. and though not explictly mentioned, to think in perspective of God's economy of time. that the impatient person in me needs to surrender to the timing of God's will. and as always, that's the better option.

being in ministry for the past four years has been a step of working out the kinks in preparation for whats the come. and boy am i excited about whats the come! be it in ministry or personal life. just about two weeks ago, i'm handed the news that i'm going to be a father soon! me... a dad!? i'm so joyful and yet so afraid! am i ready for this huge responsibility? ministry wise, we're going to start out a recording facility and i'm going to be a part of that. that's huge! a milestone if you would for my ministry.

"the Lord can if the Lord wills, we thank God that He did" the Lord has renewed something witin me. pray with me that this renewal will not stop

the wii challenge

its amazing how quickly a year can go by. my last blog turns a year old! haha feeling lots of different emotions as the year draw to a close. another chapter of my life, another page in this book. lots oh happy memories, lots of disappointing ones. things that makes me leap with joy and things that bear me down. it has all been written and can never be altered. for better or worse its my history now.

those who hear me often these couple of days speaking as not having that particular christmas-ey feeling this year. for some reason it didn't feel very celebratory. yes, people still give gifts and presents, people still say to each other blessed christmas, but something this year is different. maybe its the different events of this year, the relationships with friend (or lack thereof). every one seems busy. at what exactly, i don't know. i find myself busy too, ministry, church. there is far too many things to do, could be done.

maybe its the busyness that draws the focus of this season away, from the magnificent gift of life through the coming of our saviour thousands of years ago. it could be. but what exactly is it, i don't know.

yesterday, we were at alvin's place for a ForeRunner christmas party. It was fun! good food, good company, and my first wii session. now if you know wii, you know it has some pretty interesting games. like tennis, bowling, boxing, ratatoulie. haha though not so easy to play the last one. But as i was playing boxing with manson, i felt my arms getting really tired, achy and just without much strength to pull the punch with the intensity as i would have desired. "oh but how much i wanna tear at the opponent. maybe a better block and then i'll throw a faster punch into mid air." i don't know why, but it kinda reminds of 1 Corinthians 9:26 where paul discribed runnning, but not without aim and boxing, as not beating the air.

anyways, have a good Christmas everyone! be glad and reminded of the grace you've received as your gift this season. and the mercy you have been shown. Blessed Christmas!

CHRISTmas Time =)

It’s Christmas in just another 15 more days. This is the time of year when deep inside me I get this warm feeling of love. Life seems to slow down to a crawl. People take strolls more often and seem to walk at a more leisurely pace than other months of the year. Seeing Orchard Road don the lights display, I get a sense of a festive, celebratory mood within me. (Although I prefer the striking white and blue contrast lighting of previous years as it gives the season a dreamy feel =) ). I love this time of the year! Perhaps cause people somehow aren’t so caught up with work and datelines. And they generally take more time to spend with family and friends. How cool can that be?

Well, what can Christmas be without carols right? There is one particular one that I like quite a lot. I don’t know exactly how the lyrics go or who wrote it but I’d like to remember it as such;

Christmas

Isn’t Christmas

Till it happens in your heart

Somewhere deep inside you

Is where Christmas

Really starts

So give your heart to Jesus

You’ll discover when you do

That it’s Christmas

Really Christmas

For you

I’m thankful that as Christmas comes around again for the 25^th time of my life, I’ve known and experienced the Love Jesus Christ has shown to me. Simply because one teacher in Primary School, Miss Joan Tan, chose to believe in me, love me and care for me. She personified Christ’s Love to me. And that moment my heart was reached by God’s Love.

I just want to wish all you, my friends a blessed Christmas. May you experience the Love of God as I have this very Christmas!

Ruth & Titus

Ruth and Me

Today we celebrate our first month together as a couple. I smile everytime i get to hold her hand as i'm reminded of God's great love for me in bringing her into my life. On our way to Railway Mall, it started pouring and i thought it would be such a letdown to the night. I said a quick prayer in my heart asking the Lord to cause the rain to letup or stop if it brings Him delight. By His graces the night turned out to be really sweet! There was no rain and in fact the weather was really beautiful! The food's great but most importantly, the company's... special =)

the land of the sub zero...

Just came back from Mongolia from a resource trip with ForeRunner. Its been really exciting to be able to fellowship with our brothers and sisters in Mongolia.

MRT team with the students

I'm really blessed I could go on this trip. It's great to hear some of the desires and passions the students have. I'm sensing that as they continue seeking the Lord for direction and what the Lord has in mind for them, the music ministry will be a true light in the country for the Lord.

The students are a talented bunch as well! Students like "the beatbox man" Naka, Kush with his great vocals who says he is actually more a Morin Khauur Musician. Oyunka, who really good at the keyboards, and Moogii who just learnt the bass about a year ago but plays very well.

me in a beanie

And I'm thankful as well that God allowed me to use some of what I learnt as I was working outside to bless the students as well. I taught a class on sound basic and even got a chance to help Enke their sound person with some question and answer for his church sound. It's really been a privilege for me

On the last night, the student did a song for the team and came round to pray for us. At times like this, I could just fall on my knees in wonder. The love God showed us, me, through the students. Thank You Lord for I don't deserve this at all.

...to lose is to gain (in God's economy)...

What does it mean to lose somebody? Especially if it’s someone close to your heart? Like your mom? A person you admire from a distance? When that familiar pain strikes your heart, it just feels like your whole being is being torn apart. You struggle through the day, and you can’t sleep at night. Lord I want to learn that faith that Abraham had in Genesis 22, knowing Lord that you are in control and trusting your heart.

Lord I give you thanks you’ve allowed my mom to keep her job. Even though the child care centre she works in is moving to another location, her supervisors have decided to continue hiring her. Lord but as Simon said, let my heart be in a state where I’m always ready to say “Blessed be the name of the Lord!” for I know not what tomorrow holds. But I will hold on to God’s promises every minute i have life.

Matthew 6
33"But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
34"So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

until ...

The past week has just been amazing. I was in Port Dickson, Malaysia to attending a gathering unlike any other i've been to so far. My heart was a little heavy as I was praying and thinking about what to do after Dec 2006 when my stint with ForeRunner ends.

But God drew my attention away from that and just allowed me to be in awe of what He's been doing around the world. Suddenly, it just seemed like what will happen after 2006, well, doesn't matter!

It Is Well With My Soul - Horatio Spafford
When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou has taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

(recording)

As I sat behind my drumset listening to God's children singing this, I just started weeping. The lyrics of the song gripped me.

I will write more as I process more of what God has laid upon my heart during this gathering.

John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.